Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
