I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize