Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
