I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
