Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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