I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize