Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
