so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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