I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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