wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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