her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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