In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize