Already got asked if we're dating
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
