thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
