is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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