I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
