There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
