No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
