i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
