Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
