I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
