Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
