we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We have so much sex to catch up on
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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