you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
