She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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