oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
