just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
