From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
