Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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