The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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