you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
