I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
