If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
