Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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