It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
