You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we're so committed to being not committed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
