Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
