I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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