Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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