We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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