You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize