woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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