i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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