I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
