She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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