omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i came on her dog
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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