i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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