Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
