Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Randomize
