Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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