Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
