:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
