I don't think brook has ever known best
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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