To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize