This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
