Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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