Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
