I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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