I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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